The Problem: Self-Salvation

Thanks Tim Keller for helping me with that phrase.
– – Dear Reader,
– – You have read lots. Here’s something else. I’ve been sick with a grueling fever for the past week or so, and I’m tired of it. As soon as I sit up, I start throbbing in my head. People are depending on me for so many things. I have responsibilities. Children to lead in song, home-bound family who need to go into town, and this is not to mention my truck which needs fixing, my laundry needs to be done, and I have about 2 hours of upright energy a day before my fever goes up a single degree. Thankfully my family are around to care for me, and take care of pressing needs as they arise. Things came to a pretty weepy head today when I had to skip work at school. I cried out, “God please come get me!” from my curled up blanket on the couch, wracked with weariness and worried-ness.
– – Finally. He really does listen. He just listens better than we do to ourselves. I could tell you countless times I had asked him to heal me because people depend on me. But now the problem comes down to just me living with me. What kept crushing down on me was the weight of everything I had to do, and just could not do. I had to partially delegate it to my boss.
– – I know He listens every time, but He responds to honesty. Suddenly, in that moment, I found myself writing in my journal, “Thank you for saving me from my own self-salvation.”
– – I like to think I can fix things. I can do it. I can handle life. I can face challenges. I can manage my time, my relationships, my money. And so I can, or at least act like I can. But what happens when all that power is gone? You go to your power source and have the balls to ask him, “Get me more power, so I can take care of things myself, so I will not need you to save me, cause if you save me, that means I have to completely serve you alone.” That’s what I’ve been doing anyway. I wrote this down after that realization:
“Let’s face it. We’re all a bunch of sucky self-saviors.” I slept with peace after that, ’cause I know my Savior is real. He won’t save everything important to me. That’s not His job. His job is sustaining the cosmos, just like he showed Job. And in the End his Wise plan is best.

 

The Tuner

There once was a tuner who walked down the street tuning every instrument he could. The thing was that everyone knew him to be a tuner, so not everybody liked him. Some avoided him because he made them feel out of tune. Others were happy to have someone who would help them stay in tune.

Still, he yearned for harmony everywhere he went. He knew that instruments on their own weren’t as beautiful as they were when they played together. He could tell if any note was not ringing true from the instrument’s most vibrant register. He also wrote music for each instrument to play to let their tuning really shine. He believed that if every instrument was tuned to itself, since the Composer also made very instrument for his world-wide Symphony, then it would sound more fitting and glorious with the whole symphony than it would with just standard tuning in that part of the world. He knew that every instrument needed to be in tune in order for the Great Symphony by the Composer he served to sound as glorious as it could be.

Because of his tuning skills, he found it easy to match any instrument’s tone with his voice. But this tuner, did not always know what pitch the instrument was naturally supposed to tune to. At first, he did not even know what was Standard tuning for instruments in that part of the world. But he checked other tuners to learn and seek agreement.

The Tuner regarded his tuning fork as his most precious possession. The Tuner’s standard for his tuning was the Ancient Music for which all instruments were originally tuned, as well as being in constant conversation and concert with the Composer of it.

The Tuner could play anything joyfully and skillfully, but since the tuner did not know, or often accept Standard tuning, he did not see himself as “a tuner.” He played at his job more than toiled. His favorite thing to give people was the understanding to be in tune with themselves, the joy of harmony created by playing with other people, and the wonder of the grand Symphony of which they were all a part.

His greatest fear was for people’s trust and willingness to tune to him to create discord, disharmony, and disunity within a person, among the instruments, and within the Symphony itself. It would disqualify him as a tuner worthy of the Composer, and he would be worth nothing but to be fired.

Yes, I am the Tuner.